Before You Say "I Do"
Before You Say "I Do"
An unbiased bible exposition on Genesis 24
And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. 2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: 3 And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: 4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac. Genesis 24: 1 - 4
We can’t overemphasize the importance of marrying right. Genesis 24 is a beautiful text on many key factors to consider in our search for a life partner.
It may appear our generation has witnessed a high rate of divorce and infidelity. This is partly because there are those promoting it, making it look cool. However, over the past 10 years, and since the turn of the 21st century, there has been a decline in both marriage and divorce rate within the US (CDC, and Insider, 2019). People meet and after ‘sweethearting’ themselves for two years everything still breaks, not getting to marriage. Some argue, better not to marry than have a failed marriage.
While a failed marriage is a frightening idea, we can’t stop getting married because it’s God’s design for man. Marriage is a beautiful union and no one should talk you out of it. If marriage was designed by God, then He has the blueprint, and if we mess up the process we should be ready to face the consequences.
For a Christian, there is a Biblical standard and that’s part of what this text examines.
Abraham had entrusted the responsibility of getting a wife for his son to his eldest servant. Not to say much of what that means, the eldest servant we believe had enough of discernment, and training under the patriarch to function in the capacity he had been charged.
The old Abraham had to charge his servant by oath, God is the witness. This was a weightier matter than the covenant Abraham had made with Abimelech where he brought seven ewe lambs (Genesis 21: 28). Here the servant was asked to place his hands under the thigh of Abraham – a man God had made great, whom the children of Heth called lord (Genesis 23:6). The servant was to feel the weight of the thigh of the man who is the father of them who believe by faith, a man who had sojourn on many lands, a friend of God (Isaiah 51:2; Genesis 23:4). At the point of taking hold of Abraham’s thigh, he knew the weight of his master’s heart on the matter. Abraham was now close to his grave – he was well stricken in age, a man of many experiences. As he held Abraham’s thigh he understood that he was to make a decisions God made for Adam when he brought Eve to Adam. The whole task of finding a wife (for Isaac) was on him. Abraham had taken Sarah as his wife and knew her from childhood (Genesis 20:12). This servant knew that in less than a moment he would be required to take to wife for Isaac a woman he had never met. How he would need discernment, diligence and trained eyes and heart? “… thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell. But thou shalt go unto my country…” The grey-hair man said. He had known God, and his covenant; a circumcised man.
The people of the land were kind and good to Abraham (Genesis 23). Their daughters could be educated and fair(beautiful), and the people would be willing to give Abraham their daughters in marriage. But nothing qualifies enough for such a decision. Not under any circumstance should a wife be taken from among the people Abraham dwelt was the oath. How many Christians still believe that they can marry from "the world"? They go into a strange country to seek a wife. They would say “I love her”, “I'll convert her”, and like Samson, “she pleaseth me well”. And they know not that they curse God when they implied by action that the bone of their bones and the flesh of their flesh is not washed and redeemed by the blood of Jesus. Son, do you neglect the words of your father and be unequally yoked with unbelievers, or do you mingle and corrupt the holy seed in that you take to wife their daughters? (Ezra 9: 2). What country do you go to, where do you look when finding a wife?
Some may say the unbelieving wife is sanctified by her believing husband: and that is true when the believing husband had married his unbelieving wife as an unbelieving husband. For what fellowship has light with the darkness that the redeemed of God should love the daughters or sons of Belial? The question is do you seek your will or the will of God?
And the servant had left his master was alone, remembered as he was trained, prayed. It’s sad to know that in a great decision like this many do not pray. Some pray and yet do not pray through. Some grow weary and others drown in the sea of emotion. Abraham’s servant would not cast off his discipline. Why would he flirt and roll from one side of his bed to the other burning with passion? For before he had met the damsel he had prayed. I ask, do you pray? He knew his master very well. Abraham would not take the damsel out, neither would he give gifts. He would pray! Why some may feel if she is a daughter of God why pray? They say ‘she is spiritual’ and would not pray. We learnt not so from the patriarch nor the Apostles who said “Thou, Lord which knowest the hearts of all men, show whether of these two thou hast chosen” (Acts 1:24). The servant of Abraham would not let his eyes lead his heart, like some do, (Job 31:7) therefore he prayed. He knew whoever he is led to choose will bear the seed of God and birth forth the promise of God to his master. He was dealing with an issue on which the covenant and promise of God, and the people of God and the people of Israel even the Christ hung. He prayed – you see it was not trivial. None is of a purer theology that before you meet a man you should meet God. I ask again, do you pray?
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